so i convince myself that it's okay...
that i won't feel bad...that i won't feel ashamed...that it's okay.
i convince myself.

and then...
i don't know.
am i remorseful? kind of.
do i feel bad? yes...

do i need forgiveness? every day...


God...
Okay. So I'm screwed up. You knew that...I know that. Sometimes I do things and I don't feel bad...and that concerns me..Where the heck is my heart? Because today...a lot of days...I'm not so sure where it is...I'm not sure where to find it, or what kind of shape it's in... But you do. You always have...
God please bring it back into the light...whatever that means...I need you. I really, really need you.