do you ever feel like you've been searching for the same thing you're entire life?

like...you just can't find that thing your looking for...that thing that would make all of the other pieces fit...

I was reading a while back in a Beth Moore bible study about some of the different things God has for us...He wants us to know and trust him...ect...The one that sticks out to me is that it said that God wants us to find satisfaction in him...to be satisfied.

I was telling someone else about this the other day and they didn't agree....in fact, they strongly disagreed with that statement...They said that it isn't at all about whether or not we are satisfied with God...

It confused me. Because I kind of understood where she was coming from...but at the same time...

God, I need to be satisfied with you...You're in control of everything...of the entire universe...of me entire existence...I need to be able to find satisfaction in you...And maybe that is more about me than about you...I don't know...

But I can't find satisfaction in anything else on this planet...no people...or thing...I can find it in myself...God, if not in you, then where? Where?

Why do I feel like your holding back on me?


I feel like I've been climbing this mountain for ages...am I ever gonna reach the top? Am I ever going to get to tackle another mountain?

Listen...I need this. I need you to make this all okay. I need you to fix this giant mess.

How many of my tears must you collect before it's too many?

I said before that I need stability...and I do. But God, I also need restoration. I need to feel like your there fighting for me...because I'm on my knees. Each time you bring him closer to the bottom you bring me farther to my knees. But it's like the bottom just continues to grow deeper and deeper...

I'm tired, okay? I'm just tired.